Sing to the Dawn

To greener pastures

2009-08-15T00:20:00.002+08:00

MOVED TO LIVEJOURNAL :)

Can I ask for anything more

2009-07-15T23:18:00.011+08:00

It's been too long a while since I last had my hand on an entry! I can give you many reasons to account for my supreme disappearance but it's really not hard guessing where all those precious time have gone to. And it truly have been worth all the while ;)

For updates, I'm still working at Reds; where all the incessant joy and energy abounds! Still enjoying the company of the children but teachers' politics are unfortunately getting to me. The thought of it drives me insane since I'm only working with a handful of colleagues and friction can already rub off so easily. I imagine working with a herd and oh boy, that spells Big Trouble.

Ah, People and the fine intricate lines that hold them together, that break them apart, invisible to the the naked eye. It's impossible to have close-knitted relations with all beings and not human nature to live in solitude. So we bite the bullet and take a step of faith not knowing what to expect. Acceptance or rejection- we take a gamble, raise the stakes, and come what may. There are only two outcomes at the end of the day- to gain or lose. And that's the truth, it all boils down to that. To put it bluntly, to put it simply.

To put it in picture-

This is to lose myself and gain you <3

Gone with the wind

2009-04-26T22:34:00.019+08:00

A quick post before I start packing for my trip this Thursday. And for a valid reason, it's not something yours truly is looking forward to boohoo!!!

Anyhoos, I've been religiously checking the letterbox everytime I get home hoping to catch a glimpse of a letter from either NUS or NTU but unfortunately, none has responded!! Why why why!! I bet they are out to stretch my patience to the limits before sending in anything- even if it means a rejection yeek.

22nd April; RSH fieldtrip- Butterfly Lodge & Hydroponics farm
And another monthly fieldtrip with the beloved kiddos :) I was assigned to watch over the younger children this time who I believed walked about aimlessly in the hot sun. Pity the guide who spoke in full sentences to the toddlers and N1s. The latter just answered her questions in baby talk; it was hysterical watching the 2 parties communicating back and forth :D

23rd April; One month old!

Because nothing is left unsaid, sometimes silence becomes the best conversation between us <3

Beautiful imperfections

2009-04-14T22:53:00.007+08:00

MCYS latest advertising campaign seen on teevee "Think Family" got everyone around me talking. If you haven't seen it, try your luck on youtube (although I truly doubt anyone would bother uploading it there). Anyhoos, it got me thinking quite a bit especially after a friend shared how you will never meet the perfect one because it simply thinks one fellow to screw the entire chain up and the rest of the world will never be able to meet their destined soulmate .

Because honestly, nobody in this world can fulfill all the needs of another person. We are like intersecting circles. There will never be two circles that overlap perfectly. There’s always a little segment left uncovered. Which is why one keeps going frantically in search of that uncovered bit. But things are different when we learn to accept the circle part and even eventually come to appreciate it. How boring it would be to find a perfect fit. Nothing left to go in search of or to long for and pine for, no art, no music, no writing, simply nothing.

8th April; Lyd's belated 24th celebration
In my opinion, the plan didn't carry out as smoothly as it should because I was worrying too much she could tell through the look in my eyes. Nonetheless the company at dinner was delightful and laughter filled the room like flashes of the camera that never cease to end that fateful evening. We terribly annoyed the neighbouring diners whoops.

<3 For times I've been so brutally honest with my words, for times I've been so careless with my feelings and for times I've been so reckless with my behaviour. We're not a month old together but I can never find the words to express how much I treasure the times we have spent together, especially the impeccable moment we join hands to pray and submit to the Creator of all things big and small, of our relationship, to Him all over again.

The belated birthday post

2009-04-05T23:08:00.023+08:00

Sometimes it almost feels like I’ve died and come back a few times over, and the past 20 years have been a series of disconnected lifetimes, each with its own players and sequence of events. It’s the hindsight-surrealism that attaches itself to all things gone by. You can’t believe everything that has happened had happened, so you must have died and returned. Or you are the only character that can somehow transcend the interspersed dimensions that dot the timeline.

In one world I am carnal. Cautious in another.

But I’ve always loved the same things, embraced the same ideas. If I’m lucky, I remember why. If not, I sometimes forget to feel.

28th March; Advanced celebration
The family celebrated my 20th three days before the actual since dad wouldn't be in town. It was delightful to have the entire family, together with my closest aunt and uncle, gathered at the dining area to eat merrily yay! :D

30th March; Last day being a teen
Thank you girls for the surprise!! :) Even though Chompchomp was closed that day, we had free sides at Aston's! I suppose that was a blessing in disguise. Thank you for trying to distract me with silly topics when the cake was served, thank you for availing yourselves that day, thank you for making things possible! It truly mattered :)

31st March; Twenty alas!
I literally dragged myself out of bed because as much as I wanted to be queen on the actual day, work remains a responsibility (unfortunately I don't call the shots). But lo and behold the principal decides to take the day off!! Another blessing in disguise :D Travin shares the same birthday as me so we celebrated his 5th and my 20th together!

1st April; Surprise surprise!
Thanks bff for popping by despite hectic schedule and exams you had to cope in school! :) Appreciate the little time spent catching up! xoxo

It was surprise after surprise! I must admit the date with May and Penny was a massive success!! I wasn't suspicious of anything at all and was completely caught off-guard! THANK Y'ALL FOR BEING THERE!! :)

Hii love!! <3 Thank you for being magnanimous when I had to make last minute changes to the plans you had in mind. Thank you for being ever accomodating to my schedules and never once declined any requests!! Thank you for being honest even though sometimes I know it's best not to but you've always been open :) Most importantly, thank you making me feel incredibly comfortable in my own skin I don't need to hide or pretend to be someone else. You're my comfort zone, Slurpee!! <3

A decent obsession

2009-03-22T23:38:00.017+08:00

A rarefied of drama, a general abundance of questions, a charming falling-into-place, a recognition of the certain individual, a playground.

These days I catch myself smiling for no good reason while going about my own business. I am happy now, and for what I would be lying if I can hardly tell. I simply no longer feel like I need to do anything, or have anything, or worry about anything. I no longer plague myself with quests for meaning or justification or with petty questioning. There is no need; I have assuredness that faithfully sits in place in spite of my belief in the Murphy’s Law.

To rest in sweet embrace and put aside a fear is a challenge. But I'll learn to take things one step at a time together with you <3

16th March; The Miss Ong appointment
Flower from a girlfriend, dinner and a lot of catching up, shopping at the eleventh hour. I cannot ask for a better time spent together :) Dial 1800- SMS buddy whenever you need me Rah!!

18th March; RSH Changi Airport trip
Third outing with the children!! :) I'm learning to cherish every fieldtrip with them because I believe my days are numbered in RSH!! Either I quit or the principal fires me but I hope the latter doesn't happen so I can save some dignity on my end. Anyhoos, the viewing gallery was the highlight!! The kids watched in amazament and bewilderment as the planes take off. Even for myself, I never quite understand how an object that heavy could fly in the sky.

Built to last for eternity

2009-03-15T23:17:00.006+08:00

Time is of the essence. It speaks volume if one gives you time; because you can and should then safely assume that love comes into the picture almost without question. Hence, that makes the simple equation that time is equivalent to love, yes? It applies to me at least :)

The past week was a pretty tough one to get through emotionally. There's always room for experience and more to come in this lifetime but sometimes I feel like I've had enough and would rather cope with whatever I've learnt so far. And yet, I'm aware how important it is to have a teachable spirit. Not prideful but ready and willing to learn come what may. And it gets trying when somehow I just can't help but to feel responsible to do this, to do that, to be this, to be that.

But doesn't all that time consuming work represents love at the end of the day? The fact that you're willing to give in the seconds, minutes and hours just to brighten up someone's day?

It's where the heart beats for and mine seems to go in all sorts of crazy directions but eventually is where/who my time is spent on that I realise where it truly heads. It's times like this I know I don't need a compass.

PS I love you <3

Immeasurable grace

2009-03-08T22:58:00.016+08:00

I'M AN A LEVEL GRADUATE!!! *jumps for joy*

To say I'm overjoyed would be an understatement. Never ever in my wildest dreams would I ever thought I could get through this giant hurdle. It was pure torture to no end during college years. It's a miracle I'm a survivor; I cannot thank God enough for supplying me sufficient strength to the painstaking experience. Something I've come to realise I've taken for granted many a times.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28

On a different note altogher: My phone is getting cranky lately! It sends out and receives texts SELECTIVELY so please if you don't get a reply, it's not because I choose not to respond but I sincerely did not get anything!! Attempts to get a new phone have failed miserably because there is no flip-phones in the market (goodness know why!!) *pouts* Thus, if you need to contact me, resort to other technological means, say, email via hotmail/facebook or simply call my mobile thank you very much :)

5th March; Before D-Day
B&J icecream meet up the night before we got our results helped to calm the nerves a little. It's not by chance that God has placed all six of us together. We were a happy and noisy bunch, sometimes frustrated and annoyed at each other. Yet we still came back together and set aside our differences; knowing that at the end of the day, it's the friendship that matters. And we want to keep it alive yay! :)

RSH Play-Doh goes to school!
Play-Doh company came and gave a completely FOC 75minute session to the K1s and K2s! :) The kids had sucha great time I was thrilled to see how much fun they were having! Looking at their smiles and listening to their laughters is a joy in itself. I can't wait to go to school tomorrow and immerse in their giggles :D Missing them way too much since I was absent last Friday!

Jemuel and I are progressing exceptionally well :p It's amazing how he accomodates to me and complies to my demands. He can very well take over Benjy's place in my heart! <3 More pictures of him compared to others; he kept getting distracted when I was going around taking photos so I might as well sit beside him and truly be shutter-happy :D

Just behind the corner

2009-03-05T23:46:00.005+08:00

How strangely liberating it was to walk home in the rain. To feel the magnificent drops pitter patter on me from head to toe. To be comforted by the wind that caresses against my face. It didn’t take me long to realize that my strides were slowing down as my weight increased from the damped clothes that stuck to my skin. While the journey home seems interminable, it still came to an end eventually. And I looked upon my destination with great relieve.

The same goes for tomorrow, I hope, regardless of the results. Alas, to be free from anxiety :)

Thank you for all the smses! How timely because it all came at the time when I needed an emotional push! xoxo

Preschool thus far

2009-03-02T23:57:00.005+08:00

Another week kicks off. Not the best start since the principal aka perfectionist was being unbelievably unreasonable I was on the verge of exclaiming "I quit!" but of course I resisted. Working with a perfectionist pays off; my patience has been stretched beyond limits I think I've hit a new guinness world record time and time again. It's exasperating.

Nonetheless the children makes my world go round. They put the smile on my face, make me look forward to work and help me realise that it's the little things like a cuddle and a kiss makes working all worthwhile :)

Pictures of the beloveds during naptime- check out their favourite sleeping postures. Alex with his butt in the air and Marc drooling all over (he probably thinks of food even when he sleeps).

The dining area- where kids loathe their vegetables and guilty of throwing apples under the table. It's a struggle everyday to encourage them to eat their greens. I'd gladly help them finish than nag like an old hag. Japanese girl, Rina, has graduated from eating piles of seaweed! We used to crowd her meal with seaweed just so she would touch her food. And finally we stopped supplying seaweed and she even asks for second helping!! :D

Josh- the boy who cries every morning when mom drops him off in school and would settle down within 5 minutes. The cycle has been repeating itself since he was a tot. He's in N2 now, by the way.

Ian- who would bargain and make deals with me. "Teacher Dawn if I eat my vege can you gimme sticker?" *faints*

Last but not least, Jemuel, who initially rejected me, finally gave in! :D And he did it in the most sweetest manner I think he'll grow up to be a hopeless romantic. *whines whines whines* I want to turn back time and be K2 so that I can be his classmate boohoo!!

I wish by the time I leave RSH, I would have made memories with every child and that every single one of them will somehow be mentioned in this space. A goal I set for myself yay :D

On a serious note, while the media hasn't officially broadcast that A level results will be released this Friday, I suppose the speculations have to be true this time. I'm clueless as to what to expect; I vividly remember coming out from the exam hall after every paper feeling wasted and comforting self to look forward to the next. Oh well, we'll see what God has in store for me. It's a matter of trust, hasn't it been all along?

Slow motion dream

2009-02-25T23:01:00.010+08:00

Second field trip with the kids :D This round at Marina Barrage! :) The previous one at Chinatown was nothing compared to today's event!! Crowd control wasn't all that bad but it was exceptionally maddening to get the kids out of their waterplay to change and leave the premise. I'm tired to the bones! Boyfriend Ben was the craziest of the lot; he played so much he slept like a baby during naptime :D There, I shall be nice and share a stunning picture I snapped of him during his playtime. (More pictures on Facebook!)

Working woman's woes

2009-02-17T00:15:00.002+08:00

It's been a month since I've started working and loving it wholeheartedly. This joy, however, is shortlived because it begins to be dreadful when I found myself fixed in a mire. The ugliest scenario possible- teachers' politics. Politics; in my opinion, the dirtiest word to come across in the field of education. What more preschool; where we face the most beautiful children that teaches us childlikeness everyday without fail. We ought to be ashamed of ourselves.

Coupled with the politics I've gotten myself entangled in, my carelessness always gets the better of me and the cost of my blunders could even wind up the school. Yes, trust me, it's that serious. The consequences are still unknown but should I ever get out of job, come console me. And because actions speak louder than words, have a heart and donate generously to Dawn's Comforting Funds.

Mom thinks I'm worrying too much and that I should chill since she considers my carelessness as innocent mistakes. Yet, she is also fully aware that her daughter may get fired anytime this week and thinks it's experience I've gained. So, nothing is loss. Not yet, at least.

13th Feb; Valentines' Celebration at RSH
I really love the children in school so much! :D If I could repeat and express my love for them I would! But it's never easy; somehow there are too few words in the dictionary to describe just how much I adore all of them!! :D Anyhoos, they went home with a balloon and rose in hand that day. Boyfriend Ben was absent! I'm so sure he would present his rose to me without question! Temporary boyfriends Alex (Ben's younger brother) and Korean star Matthew filled the void in my heart (2 pictures below respectively) :D:D

15th Feb; Valentines' Celebration with TJC
Tea party after service as part of Vday event organised by Fiona love, Amanda and Shawn was a tremendous success :) Thank you committee for the time and effort put in. Credits to May for overseeing the entire planning process and holding the ring ceremony at such an appropriate timing! :) God is so real in CCK; in our lives; as He realises how easily tempted we are with the daily bombardings of the media. It's only by His grace that we get gentle reminders from Him how we should live lives according to His will and how we shouldn't be too worried about pleasing men but only Him alone :D

May our pledge of allegiance to purity be something we can take pride in fellow cell members <33

Apart from that, thank you for pretty gifts showered to me on Vday :) Pleasantly surprised by all those simple gestures xoxo Y'know who you are :)

Photos courtesy of Lyd, Jo and Jonjon for taking pictures with my cammie; more on facebook! :D

Anyone lived in a pretty how town

2009-02-05T01:03:00.006+08:00

I'm so tired but I'm too excited to share my very first poem with all of you after all the inspirations I get from reading Jem's literary works! :) Thank you for stimulating my brain cells to work and injecting jealousy within me! Probably my first and last shot on poetry because I kept wanting to give up halfway since it sounds nothing like the sophiscated ones I read from witty poets. Think E E Cummings! :D

So here's what I came up with:

Have you ever ...
Wonder why it's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open;

Or why some great tracks have been forgotten.

Wonder how could someone fall from grace without any saving glory;

Or why your life isn't all like some kindda love story?

Wonder why some people could act the way they do;

Or wished someone had the cure for those Monday Blues.

Wonder how could someone stoop so low for money,

Or how poetry and I will never come together like bees and honey!

There, how about it?

On a different note altogether, there are far too many movies I wanna catch I think I'll just settle for J8 and do a movie marathon alone!! Changeling, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Defiance, The Reader and that better be about it!! :) Very eager to watch all of them!! :D

Okay very late now already and I need to recharge all my energy to match up with the children tomorrow! Can't wait for another day in school! :)

What happens next

2009-01-31T17:12:00.026+08:00

What I really need right now is a space. What I really meant to say, though, was that I really need a refuge, a place that I can run to, hide in, be at, and be. But because it sounds a tad cliche, somewhat predictable, and undeniably adolescent-ish, it took me all of half an hour to muster up enough literary courage. Don’t judge.

I wish there was an invisible zip in this air that I could pull down, so I could step into a non-existent space where time stops, where I could curl up and let the pandemonium in my mind crash and spill. So I could step out, sorted. Calm, knowing, with my feet planted on the ground.

Space, I can search. But to make time stop is a selfish wish - just so I could steal some to become a different (less restless or maybe not) person, and yet find the world in the same shape, size, and stance.

It also surprises me how a snug, small space can feel as vast as it could. I guess, immersed in it, somehow the globe gets mapped out, intimate thoughts govern every meek movement, and my being catches on as a tool for this play yet nothing else comes closer to being real. Vast as the unbounded, and maybe this is why - it was, and still is, a wide world after all.

Maybe it's the post CNY syndrome. Because suddenly life and its routines begin to play out; like how it has always been.

25th Jan; Reunion dinner with the paternal family
Steamboat is as sinful as buffet because the food seems endless and everyone tends to overeat. However, that night we were so immersed with taking pictures (well you couldn't blame us since another cousin just had a taste of NS life after being locked in 2 weeks for BMT) we were all busy catching up the only people who were really eating were probably the adults. 'Twas wasted monay on us, on me at least, since I went home hungry and ate maggi.

26th Jan; Chinese Niu Year
Funny how this CNY witnessed me picking up gambling for the first despite pastor preaching on it the day before. No, I don't think I was being rebellious. It wasn't curiousity also. I can't figure what made me compromise with this principle I stuck to for some 19 years but anyway I made a loss nonetheless. Beginner's luck doesn't work on me somehow. Other than that, I was introduced to the much talk-about Warcraft (never too late too learn, isn't it?) and got hooked on it almost instantly. Now all I need to do is set up a garena account or something close to that I think.

An unattainable utopia for grown ups

2009-01-24T01:14:00.038+08:00

Work doesn't feel like work when I find myself looking forward to it every night before I sleep and morning waking up to know I'll be greeted with warm sincere smiles :) I secretly believe all children live in their bubbly world call Perfect Heaven where therein lies no secrets, betrayals and hypocrisy. Instead, pure innoncence, bountiful joy and genuine love are the main ingredients that formulate this Heaven. With each simple gesture lies a genuine touch of care and concern and their smiles speak nothing of worries hidden at the back of their minds. To live a carefree life- I wish growing up could be a process that I can choose to forego.

21st Jan; RSH Chinatown Visit
My very first excursion trip with all of them :) I remember the sun was roasting us like peking duck as we marched through the makeshift stalls (are they?) that laid at the side of the roads. Managing them in school was hard enough so try imagine being at crowded Chinatown during this festive season. Tsk tsk I went home dead beat that night! In fact I realise I don't get insomia lately (despite some troubling matters) because I get burnt out by the end of the day!

23rd Jan; RSH Chinese New Year Celebration
Dressed in CNY outfit, the children went house to house offering mandarin oranges and sending well wishes to all our neighbours! :)I was in-charged of the K1s and we had so much fun together (which Ben is also in by the way!) 4 days without seeing them I wish time passes quickly so that I'll be back in school on Wednesday! I miss them already boohoo

Pressure and I will never give you a good mix

2009-01-22T01:45:00.003+08:00

At the end of 2008, I made a single promise to throw caution to the wind. Because in life, I thought, cautiousness should never be key. Do What You Want. That simple and that difficult. To cast every worry aside is an art. A rather irresponsible one, perhaps, but an art nonetheless that escapes the mind which we, by the way, too often fail to respect as sovereign.

Now it’s 2009 and I no longer have my gaiety to prove to the people with faux concern. So this year I will really, really realise that happiness can be a general state of being, rather than a momentary thrill. And I will remember a lot of things. Like the purpose, the point, the basics, the basics.

Here goes something- many things, but I will stay stubborn in the things I believe- my own principles, my beliefs and so, why should someone or anyone try to change whatever that has shaped me to the person I'm in the here and now?

17th Jan; PBF at Blue Jazz
Second time with the same company but this time without alcohol since the last time they served very hard to swallow drinks. Everything tasted like medicine handed out by the pharmacists behind the counter obediently prescribed by the doctor but just that this place gives you music and ambience. Dinner turned out incredibly well I think, considered everyone enjoyed the carbornara most, but that's a dish that would hardly go wrong would it?

18th Jan; Shokudou with ADC Camp Comm
There was more than just the camp committee who turned up at the appreciation lunch/high tea but the more the merrier yay! :D Most importantly the last debrief gave suggestions for improvements to the next youth camp commandants- Penny and Med Shawn! :)
That Sunday also marked the first we came together for youth cell and it was thought-provoking to most, to say the least. I am really looking forward to a time of learning with the rest as we embarked on this new material that may appear as spiritual milk but can actually bring forth a lot more questions if we only we dig deeper and thirst more for God. Why would He withhold knowledge from us when sees that we are desperate people?

We were all once young and ignorant

2009-01-15T23:25:00.006+08:00

Today is particularly noteworthy because my first kiss was given away to a boy name Benjamin who ran towards me and planted kisses all over my face and before I could pull him away, he landed his last smooch on my lips! It felt, uhm, okay for me to know for you to find out!

Next thing I know, he was on his knees and asking me to marry him. Oh my boy!

You don't need the answers to all of life's questions

2009-01-11T23:11:00.006+08:00

A gift from the beloved wifeband. She made the same to our indispensable third party and hence, makes us the perfect love triangle. Pimple, Blackhead and Whitehead. Whoever said three's a crowd lied.

Coping with the inevitable changes

2009-01-04T20:08:00.006+08:00

First Sunday today without the Ong sisters. A part of me felt uncomfortable without receiving comforting hugs from Sarah; hearing Samantha's spontaneous voice; seeing Salina flashing her ever assuring I-love-you smile. Reality hits home. I find myself adjusting to an almost unfamiliar environment without their presence but I've got to get my act up quickly and be flexible and adapt to however circumstances may be.

Things are taking a 180 degrees change this year. The youth has grown immensely in size with the influx of Sunday School graduates- current secondary ones. While I'm excited and cannot wait for God's plans to unravel and unfold in the months ahead as to what He has in store for us, I'm apprehensive. Apprehensive because the future holds so much uncertainty for myself. I've reservations as to how I can perform and do a good job to the task I'm assigned to. I fear that I might be a stumbling block when my own personal life takes a downhill and I can't manage.

At this point, I remember that Jesus who came down to earth had his fair share of problems. And right to the point He died on the cross, God never left His son. The Bible teaches me that I'm a child of God and I believe that He'll not leave me, His daughter, too.

Whatever the changes may be, I know that He is in full control. So as I continue to stay unemployed not because I'm lazing away and doing nothing about it, I trust that in God's timing, He'll provide a suitable place for me somewhere. As I begin to worry over results which is actually still a long time from now, I remember I need to have absolute dependence in God.

Dawn=Light
Salina=Saline=Salt
Together, we would mean salt and light of the world
-Salty Salina's brilliant equation :)

Dear Salty Sal, you are sweetest salt I taste because the things you do and say touches me right to the bottom of my heart :) Thank you for treasuring me and expressing how you feel towards me everytime to remind me how you cherish this friendship ;) Never met someone who does that in this lifetime so thank you :) You are a gem I will hold dear to; I hope you knew that but if you don't, here's nothing but the truth for you. As much as I know how things will be different, know that I'm a friend you can count on anytime <33

Entrusting my next 19 years and more to the one above

2009-01-02T01:34:00.033+08:00

2008 has been an eventful year. Looking back, I don't think I would ever trade for anything I've learnt from the past 365 days. While some lessons were exceptionally painful and unforgettable, learning the hard way served to be experiences I will pick up in life. It's a matter of time- sooner or later. I rejoice in knowing that God has never abandon me even in moments I chose to lean on my own strength and wisdom. I take heart that God has never even thought of casting me aside when at times I doubt on His love for me. And I thank God for all that He has put me through because He never fails to provide way-outs and open doors when I felt locked up and trapped. I know I'm not because the shackles are broken and I'm forever free. And I'll dance with joy everyday and acknowledge My Redeemer Saviour and Friend who dictates my every breath and awakening moment.

My new year resolution will be simple: To walk in faith everyday and seek His word with hunger.

I see myself at the peak of my mountain top experience with God. The post mission trip and Youth camp propelled me deeper and more steadfast with my walk with God. Truth is, as much as I want this to last, I think I'm bound to stumble and hit rock bottom again. I thank God for the people He sent at different points in life to motivate and encourage. I know I'm not alone when I run this race of faith.

26th-29th Dec; Absolut Dependence Youthcamp
Kudos to Salina and Sean- camp commandants for 2008 youthcamp :D Excellent performance because the entire camp was so God. Admittedly, while we, the camp committee, were frustrated and upset with ourselves at many occasions for some unforeseen circumstances, the result was truly amazing :) God is so good; He used the little of what we have to glorify His name. Every youthcamp never fails to draw me closer to God and I think this time, He made me realised a gift He has generously given to me :) Despite being dead tired after camp, the few of us still went ahead for movie together and viola! Bedtime stories did a fantastic job by putting us to sleep ;D

31st Dec; Welcome 2009
Funny how God put people together. While we can never comprehend how some things fall into place, I'm treasuring every minute spent with you girls :) We come together as very different individuals I think, but I've grown to become so comfortable with you both :D In beloved trashhead's words, I repeat- permanent residents of my heart as well <333

Married to an angelic mortal

2008-12-30T23:48:00.005+08:00

Thank you for being you. To infinity and beyond. Today marks our first proclamation to Facebook World that we are of one <3 If there's any third party in the relationship, it can only be Jolgah. Three's not a crowd when it comes to us. xoxo

His life brought salvation to those who believe and I await His second coming

2008-12-30T18:50:00.003+08:00

This X'mas has been so full of fun! :D I spent X'mas eve and the actual day with the people who truly mattered and hold close to my heart :) I can't thank God enough for all His blessings. Although December spells everything like H-E-C-T-I-C, I enjoyed every bit of the madness! :D Youth camp was followed up after mission which took place on boxing day! Hence the 2 days that provided breathing space was more than enough by the grace of God.

24th Dec; X'mas Eve with the maternal family!
I love my family. Both sides :D At the maternal's, I become one of the oldest and yet I still behave like a child. We played games that night which I led and the living room soon became a dancefloor where the forfeits were served. Anyhoos, those who didn't have to do forfeits were more than willing to volunteer themselves (my mom and dad who were enthusiasts!) There was so much laughter I hope this annual celebration will always take place anywhere so long the people remains the same <3

25th Dec; X'mas day with the loves
The day began with service at church to see all my loves! :) Mission trip really bought us together especially with beloved trashhead and Jolgah :D Lunched with the herd and wenta pay godma a visit at her place! :D Afterwhich was celebrating X'mas with the paternal family! :) More fun and laughter and wacky stunts!

In His love, no fear can ever prevail

2008-12-23T19:36:00.043+08:00

Spending nine days at Cambodia would probably be the best thing that happened to me this year. God challenged me to stare at poverty straight in the eyes and experience a tinge of village life. To live in the hearts of the village where water and electricity are not at one's beck and call is no easy feat. Bottled water undeniably became a necessity and I don't think I've drank so much mineral water before yeek.

I'm looking forward to go back next year. Cooperating with COGS and CCOP in the outreach is a wonderful feeling- one big family supporting each other :) In addition, I want to care for the children at Takeo (among the 4 places, this was best) who are appreciative of everything we do for them! They are so loveable; my heart went out to them knowing that although they have so little, they are incredibly contented with their lives. Insects are their toys and they have so much joy bursting out of them.

There are about 1000+ photos courtesy of Mojo! Thank God for avid photographers like Lydia too!! I tread the soils of Cambodia thinking which life would be better off: a laid back one where life is extremely slow-paced or here in Singapore, chasing the rat race. Many times we overlook and take for granted the comfort we have. While the trip has made me appreciative of this life in Singapore, it unravelled the beauty of living in a village too. One thing for sure, I miss Cambodia. I want to return to the humble land. To change hearts. To touch lives. To be blessed and be a blessing.

Hallelujah grace like rain fall down on me

2008-12-14T02:29:00.002+08:00

I was going to write a proper post, but by the time I uploaded all the photos on Facebook, I’ve become so exhausted I wouldn’t be able muster up enough strength to chow down a Chicken McNugget (hidden treasure, no?) even if you dangled it right before my nose. I’ve also gotten rather sniffly, which, as far as I am concern, is a sign of fatigue. The above mentioned can be dealt with more sleep, rest and the works but like I've said, everytime I lie on bed, my mind races to think about everything. Oh crap. Let tonight be exceptionally puh-lease!!

But I know you wanna see; if I will hold on through these trials

2008-12-13T02:08:00.001+08:00

I've never felt so tired before. I feel like I'm on the verge of breaking down anytime but there's a die hard spirit within that pushes me forward.

I've unwittingly entangled myself to several commitments that hold close to my heart. While I'm not regretting (and don't think I ever will), I must admit that I'm essentially maximised. I've unleashed my potential only to find myself sapped dry. I don't think I've ever felt so far from God and so near to Him all at the same time. While my life practically revolves around the Almighty, I feel all withered and dried up inside. Yet I draw strength miraculously from a source I can only believe it comes from Him alone.

Sleep is precious. Extremely desirable after a whole day of activities. However, the side effects of the malaria pills, Mefloquine, prevents me from getting a good night's rest. Insomia is horrible. Extremely undesirable in every sense. My eyes are wide open and I'm physically worn out.

However the circumstances, I've learn to trust and believe in the unchanging God and the dependable Father who provides. The one who will satisfy my every need in every aspect. The Alpha and Omega. The Beginning and the End. My all in all.

One hop and you're done with this island

2008-12-03T01:41:00.019+08:00

I took the longest time to finish rereading The God of Small Things! My. Oh. My. Why is precious time slipping by so quickly I can never understand. Onto the next book: Niffenegger's The Time Traveller's Wife, also another book I've read before haha! I think I'm a person who prefers to stick to familiary. Change will never sit well with me. Yet Change is constant. I hate the truth in that phrase.

30th Nov; Dinner with Superwomen
Sann was suppose to join us that night but she fell so sick she could not meet us! Bah, I was really looking forward to dating the 3 Superwomen- Sann, Shuqi, Sarah :D It's okay! There will always be a lot of time for that! :D Anyway, we combed half of Orchard Road after dinner that night since we ate so much; sitting around would encourage fats buildup. The lightings at Orchard are a flop! They aren't providing enough X'mas atmosphere to perk up consumer spending booboo! Oh and some people have no photographic sense; they can't take photos for nuts!! Tsk tsk.

2nd Dec; A welcomed invasion
Glut came over to cook dinner together! :D It didn't turn out all that bad. (We even bought tidbits in case it turned out disastrous!) Food was edible; a tad salty for all the dishes but still fantastic, taking into consideration that the best dish we can whip out solo is 2 minute maggi. Anyhoos glut has bangs now! If I were to keep mine, we would look like twins but I think I've had enough. High maintanence but then again I enjoy snipping my hair myself whenever I have the urge.

Tied together with smiles

2008-11-29T01:22:00.002+08:00

One of the articles on the Featured colum of YAHOO.COM has a picture of PM Lee that dosen't quite look like him. I was quite shocked to see how sunken his cheeks looked. The irony is that he is apparently giving a speech on Singapore being able to tide through the economic crisis. Go figure.

I reckon Christmas this year is going to be gloomy. Sales will inevitably decline for retail shops. Being present at my mom's shop this week provided real experiences. Nonethless mom says she is going to bring me shopping; everyone should learn from my mom and do their part to improve the economy.

26th Nov; Starbucks catchup
Despite not seeing each other for more than 3 years, we are still as comfortable with one another's presence :) It was so heartwarming to know that the distance had done nothing to threaten the friendship. I think chemistry plays a large part in people relations and that our amazing God is always revealing His grace to us in the most mind-blowing ways. I'm so thankful for all that He is doing in our lives and that He will continue to work His ways beyond our comprehension :)

27th Nov; Min's 9teen
This year is full of surprises! I love surprises! :) Especially being able to see the immediate expressions on one's face. To capture the priceless look- bewildered eyes, shocked yet pleasantly surprised! :) While we brought much joy to the birthday girl at twelve midnight, she later realise we were also her tormentors. As the year comes to a close, I look forward to the annual celebration we will have, pBf <333

28th Nov; Dinner at Ricciotti
Naph's my pee partner way back in secondary school; every teacher- the hsilgnE one especially would complain infront of the class how us as prefects never set the right example for our peers. Just because we visited the toilet after every hour. But seriously, who can blame us for having smaller bladders (I like to believe we do). Anyhoos this Italian restaurant she recommended would be the most unique I have tried. If this sounds ambiguous, it was meant to be. You really have to try it for yourself to judge. I miss you Elaine! Naph and I have decided our meetup place and it's going to be steak yay! :D

I feel the strain at my tighs because last night jogging with Louis was madness! I pity my overworked muscles that haven't been moving but grow to similar size as elephant's legs (I don't know why I thought of them). The starting point was Bishan Park (sorta) and ended at SAJC! I was so proud of myself :D Ooohh! It was an adventure since we chanced upon a python that tried to camouflage itself among the thick roots of the trees!

December is around the corner! Yay I can't wait for all that is in stored! :D

2008-11-23T20:55:00.011+08:00

Clothe with happiness, joy and contentment
I'm loving my holidays so much I can't wait for the upcoming plans that have been made because it only spells more fun!! :D I love the fact that I don't have to rush home on Sundays to continue revision but hang around in church for dance practices and enjoy fellowships. I love knowing that I can visit the library and drown in literary works (the current one I'm reading is Arundhati Roy's The God of Small Things, I've read it before but it doesn't kill to appreciate it once more) and forgo the newspaper completely whoops. I love the feeling of liberation and be absolutely worry-free! :D

22nd Nov; Belated celebration for bff!
Yet another surprise for bff this time planned by JR who I believed put in a lot of effort to make this a success! :) There was so much leftover food when at the beginning, I really thought there wouldn't be enough to go around. Thus, reminded of 5 loaves and 2 fishes :D I believe the rainbow we saw was a sign from Him too that even when the clouds look mighty threatening, He would hold the rain for us until we were done with what we needed to :D

2008-11-21T01:57:00.003+08:00

Innocence was never a virtue I had to begin with

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
Luke 6:37-38

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
Luke 6:41-42

I'm not perfect and never will be. It hurts to be maligned; I never harboured any ill intentions; to sow discord whatsoever. My honesty was taken as a joke; a virtue I thought far surpassed innocence that probably has implications of gullibility. Seems like I'm not that discerning afterall. I'm tired thinking about trying to be a peacemaker and doing my part to salvage whatever that's left; only to be taken for a fool.

At the same time, I'm thankful that conflicts reveal people and how we should always be genuine people. The Bible is so informative; everyone should read to be better people.

19th Nov; A failed surprise for bff!
My final paper ended on bff's birthday and with whatever energy and time I had left, I planned an impromptu surprise for the beloved. It failed (not surprisingly) since my only accomplice was the boy stuck in camp who couldn't provide information spontaneously. Anyhoos, everything fell into place and it warms me heart to know she appreciated it all <3

17th&18th Nov; Secret Starbucks
The study hideout will be a place dearly missed. I will abstain from hot chocolate, mocha frappe, basically any starbucks drinks. Oh, did I mention before that Coffee Bean's drinks are nothing compared to Starbucks. I'm seeing more of Glut after exams I can't wait for all that we've planned together :D There are a lot more photos than this; more viewing on Facebook! :D

Sometimes it's not worth it to go to great lengths to try be a goody-two-shoes pleasing the whole wide world only to realise how much you've lied to nobody but yourself. So I'll learn to leave things as they are because trying to explain would be redundant. With walls built so hard and tall, it's depressing enough to catch a glimpse of it. I'll count my blessings and be true to myself.

2008-11-13T23:19:00.003+08:00

Leave unsaid unspoken
Eyes wide shut unopened
I'm so realistic I'm checking out the different universities in Australia. So far JCU looks most appealing! :D

I'm choosing to look at the bright side (any fool can tell)! The prospect of having to face heavy papers this week got me panicking and fretting so much last weekend I think I got a few friends worked up. Thank you for all the love; I'm much better :D Thank you for all who text to encourage! It all mattered so much to me! <3

Left with one miserable paper next week and I'm officially unemployed! Correction! I'll fit the bill next year. The remains of this year will probably be frantically meeting up long lost friends and preparing for mission and Christmas and youth camp! YAY bliss!! :D

Whatever the results, or even next week's paper, I'll hafta solely rely on divine intervention. Yes, God is welcome to intervene anytime because I have zilch confidence in the flesh.

Okay I just met my bff on webcam I think she's the sweetest for being herself all the time <3

Nooby glut I thought about what you said today and us not meeting and I think we should make it a point to watch HILLS together! Means weekly meeting!! What say you! <3

Laine was great big help in encouraging me to go abroad to studies and I sincerely hope I can be with her as roomies when that happens <3

Happy Bday to WIFEY, Ruzz, Joel and Blandon! :D:D

2008-10-31T22:15:00.007+08:00

When worrying only makes you weary
Before I begin rambling! HAPPY 19th MOJO!! I LOVE YOU <3 More happy days with you! :D

Ramble begins (not for the fainthearted):
Today marks the start of A Levels for me! Significant because the much dreaded Southeast Asia History is finally finally over!! If there isn't any understatement of the year made yet, here's one- I'm delighted! Contented! Happy!! :D

As much I as would like to think I'm in good hands regardless the outcome of the As, I guess I can't help feeling a tinge of nervousness and anxiety. Worry- everyone says not to, but who can really stop it from disturbing the most peaceful soul/mind?

Tossing in bed last night I really couldn't help but worry all the WHAT IFs. What if I argued out of point? What if I misinterpreted the question? What if I can't even comprehend the question? What if I can't remember all that I've learnt? What if I ran out of time? What if I can't even wake up in time for the paper? What if what if what if...?!

I take comfort that the beginning of a terrible traumatic experience will soon have an end. That all bad, or even good events, certainly do not immortal longings. Nothing is forever. Major exams. Student days. Friendship. Heartbreak. Life. Getting worried over nothing. Eternity is merely an illusion.

Take heart my friends who are suffering this seemingly interminable and painful period! The end is within reach! It's only arms-length away!! :D

Ramblings end! (See, even ramblings have to cease at some point in time)

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:25-34

2008-10-24T23:54:00.004+08:00

Nothing is ever a guarantee in this lifetime
The last GP mock test that required us to go back to school even in the midst of our study break made me witnessed the Law of Diminishing Returns (LDMR) in myself. Grades plummeted, hitting rock bottom. Seriously, the worst you've ever seen. I take comfort that the only way is up. It has to be.

I think the most worrying subject is Economics even though I haven't quite touch Literature. I hope time is still on my side.

There are so many things running in my head and on my to-do list! When will I ever realise that all I ever need to do now is to put my heart and soul in preparing for As!! Whine whine whine grumble grumble grumble...

18th Oct; DTay's wedding
Met many new faces during the wedding banquet I think my occasional gasps in amazement and horror irritated poor Min. I hadn't realise the teaching staff in KCP had changed so drastically (in my opinion) over a span of 3 years. A younger and more livelier crowd; I would rather stick with the old and familiar people. Anyway I realise I don't have any photos taken with the new couple on my camera (just a shot of them cutting the cake from afar) so I'll upload any new additional photos up in facebook, given the time.

2008-10-22T01:54:00.003+08:00

Almost inseparable yet always apart
I would like to think it that way- together but not at close approximity. Maybe it's one-sided, who really knows.

Everybody who knew us said we represented the best definition of Sibling Love.

We shared toys, books, food and sometimes, clothes. You enjoyed snipping off the split ends of my barbie dolls and they end up looking tom-boyish with shaven heads. You would misplaced the tiny dolls of my polly-pockets. I had the tendency to dismantle your toy cars- no more windows and wheels. Even your entire collection of toy soldiers wasn't spared- they were reduced to a miserable number of a handful.

We shared the same imaginary friend. Through the process of growing up, our friend disappeared and we embarked on a world that just revolved the both of us. You started preschool and left me home alone watching the Magic School Bus and Captain Planet. You cried because you had to go to school. I cried because I couldn't deal with your absence.

We shared childhood memories and secrets that are not spoke of today. The mention of them would probably send you into fits of laughter. I would love to see how that would tickle you but I don't know how. I'm often mistaken as the only child in the family. That's not surprising and I'm increasingly learning to play the part expected of me.

Happy Birthday & I love you <3

2008-10-14T00:44:00.002+08:00

Let the exams rob you of your sanity for once
Just concede to fate.

It is like soaking in the bathtub and somehow, this intruder rushes in while you are so naked. In a bid to conceal what is left of your modesty, you grab the nearest towel - your thin shield of defense against this stranger. He continues snickering and sneering at you and amidst this whirl of confusion you scream for the much-needed help.

Many people are right at the other side of the door, but it is during times like this that people fail to hear you. It is not that they do not want to, but they just cannot.

So you thank God that the phone is in the bathroom, and you do not even know how it got there. So, you lung for the phone and you think that the police will help you. The stranger is not stopping you, so just dial, just three numbers. But alas, who would believe that such a thing could happen in a house full of (deaf) people? Not the police, at least.

Just concede to fate, let the towel fade away.

It is like that. Just something like that.

2008-10-08T01:25:00.001+08:00

Run away from misery and do the superpoke
Information overload from studying (or so I think) I attempted to shop online to release some endorphins since eating too much chocolates gives me the sugar rush (time check 1:19am- not the best time to munch on high sugar content food) but anyway Mango's collection way off budget so Facebook became my last resort and to rid off any frustration I had with notes and books I superpoked my friends (not all) by using the force I enjoyed the selection and discrimination process.

Oh cheap thrill!

2008-10-05T12:35:00.004+08:00

Never seems perfect until it's too late
Graduation day arrived. Study break officially commenced. A step closer to the big As. Less than 30 days!! "The horror, the horror" quote Conrad's character, Kurtz.

3rd Oct; Graduating from WHY-JC?
I've always like the fact that I come from an arts class- female dominating environment with only 4 pathetic male species :D In all honesty, there was never an occasion when my class acted in unity. Even on the last day, not everyone was present to experience the last moments of schooling. With that said, it's quite an achievement already that the CT Rep and her Asst weren't loggerheads on that day and are in the same pictures together ;p More viewing on facebook!

4th Oct; 4 Birthday Celebrations in a day!
The maternal side gathered for dinner last night at Prima Towers and the company was so good I wished I wasn't having a bad flu because it was irritating me to no end. That also explains why I'm not in church today yeek. Medicine wasn't very effective last night :/ Anyway aunties and uncles alike kept commenting how the bangs make me look like a Jap/China doll. Seriously, the former is a huge compliment but I can do without the latter whoops.

I'll start building up my stature as a Japanese by reliving SPEED's music- I idiolized them immensely in primary school. White Love was a hot classic so even if you weren't a fan of them, this would ring a bell nonetheless. Again more viewing on Facebook! :)

2008-10-01T17:37:00.002+08:00

But let determined things to destiny hold unbewailed their way
Home alone for the past 5D4N all the unhealthy junk I've been snacking left me with 5 ulcers and none seem to want to go away!! I'm so heaty when daddykins called to say they would be home tonight and asked what I want for their last minute shopping, I said watermelon. It's cooling fruit, according to Uncle Jackson.

Last night I had company :D Thankyoo for staying over and sorry for being a nuisance to wake up you so many times but the sun was really coming in already and roasting your bum hehe xoxo <3 More chicky wings next time for dinner when grams prepare them yummy!

I was suppose to meet Kryssie today to mug but we figured that a public holiday would mean extremely crowded restaurants because families will have meals outside and we will be a hindrance to whoever's business. Anyway home is good because I can help myself to finish up the food in the fridge (it's almost bare I need parents to stock up ;p) and take a nap anytime when reading too many words make me dizzy.

26th Sept; Blackblack's Advanced Bday Celebration
We collaborated with her dropdead gorgeous sis to surprise her at the park :D It was so fun being sneaky and secretive I might consider taking up a job as a spy. Here are 2 extreme cases: getting involved in an espionage and checking a husband's fidelity HAHAHA -_-

Anyway our first spot was a disaster even though it looked pretty romantic! On a boat- how cool is that! Unfortuantely infested with ants and mozzies. (Speaking of which I had a huge mozzie bite on my cheek on the way home yesterday. I thought it was a giant pimple but glut assured me it was a mozzie kiss but I'd rather receive one from glut). So we moved and settled somewhere less horrible and prepared ourselves for the arrival of ignorant blackblack :D

It's been cloudy the entire day I have the urge to go out and jog but I'm afraid that clumsy me might bite onto any of the ulcers in a haste to catch my breath. I'm very paranoid I realise. Besides, my korean shows are coming up in less than 30mins! I'm also aware that I'm a teevee addict. I need to join the Non-Aligned Mugment organized by XUYUN.com

2008-09-20T01:20:00.005+08:00

Everything I feel is so hard to conceal
Countdown to As is a grim reality yelp I feel so unprepared. 40 days to DDay yeek. I must pysche myself that this is just a phase of life and soon I'll get over and done with! Haven't been doing quiet time for some time I ought to put it priority over anything and everything else. I need to be God-fearing.

13th Sept; Stancia's Church Wedding
Stan and Tricia tied the knot less than a week ago. It was a simple wedding; no grand ceremonies, sophiscated decoration or glorious chapel to boast of. Still, beautiful and made perfect in His glory ;) Pictures courtesy of Lyd since I wasn't exactly shutter happy that day whoops.

This can pass of as one the scary pictures people try to photoshop to freak others but this is real! 100% original!

2nd Sept; Cafe Cartel Camera Craze
Fun fun fun meetup with loveleh babes we had elephant-sized dinner and doodled with Fujibaby's webcam! I love you girls so much although we don't see each other often y'know deep down my heart reserves a special place for y'all PBF!<3

2008-09-11T23:28:00.004+08:00

Where the wind and raindrops will whisper and tell a story
Less than 2 months to As I can't believe I have got the luxury of time to sit and blog tsk tsk. Anyway why not since I was an impulsive shopper today and spotted new eyecandy yay :D Noelle has her Barker Boy and I've got, uhm, Cotton On salesboy?

News on Straits Time been fairly intriguing recently. Referring to the Serangoon Gardens episode in particular, it's controversy at best I would say. We welcome expatriates apparently has dual meanings. As much as I feel ashame for the furor exhibited by fellow citizens, I've also come to realise that their fears and concerns are certainly justifiable. Too many frightening news on unlawful acts by these foreign workers. It's inevitable that the media's portrayal have had a foothold in our minds, leaving us with an unpropitious impression on their wanton behaviour.

Should we then stereotype? Are we any different from them; made from dust by God and all need a roof above our heads? Why are we in a position to judge, display our displeasure, be prideful and show prejudice?

While some of us become all righteous (as my arguments sbove may suggest), we should too question ourselves if we would react appropriately should the government choose our neighbourhood instead and set up domitories. I pondered on this a couple of nights and was quite taken aback by my own reactions. Hmm.

Before this entry turns out into a poor attempt on gp, let's move on to happier things! Like cutting down from 5 cups of milk a day to only 3 (because Daniel says that I'll grow extra bones from too much good stuff from moomoo) and reducing consumption from 4 mooncakes to just 2 a day (because Noelle warns me about Melissa's condition- blood infection- when she ate 4 moonies in one sitting). I don't take 5 cups of milk nor 4 mooncakes in one sitting! I spread them out evenly though the day!!

Still I'm not going to risk visiting the doctor to extract any extra bones jutting out or blood cleansing sessions so I'll resist and eat in moderation. 3 cups of milk and 2 mooncakes! Thou shalt be contented! :)

Prelim results almost all out! Last paper on IH release tomorrow, everybody can wait no hurry! There's progress overall; compared to BT3! 'Cept for Lit which was a beautiful disaster. I love ironies heh.

Stancia's wedding this coming Saturday! Ms Tay's one next month! Woohoo much to look forward to! :) Nothing has to do with coming As ugh mega spoiler.

What comes around goes around: let's pray for the SG debate and that the government will make the wisest decision do their best to please both parties. Amen :)

2008-09-01T23:34:00.050+08:00

There's more to life than just to live
"Teaching is a profession that teaches all other professions"

I can't remember where I read this from but it makes a great epigram. Well, at least it's doing a good job multiplying the I'm-inspired-to-be-a-teacher cells in me! Scary!

The Sept holidays (technically meant for studying) has begun! Thank God for weekends that kick-start the mugger period! I'm more than prepared to hit the books after all the fun yesterday at church! :D

31st August; War Games 2
Last year war games consisted of flying headless chicken and mouth-watering papaya flying in the air as substitutes for captain ball! This year, thanks to freak weather (monsoon came in earlier apparently), we reckon Sg had a lot more water to spare, so why not purely water games? ;p Emm and company (NC's youth) jumped in the bandwagon enthusiastically; they can really self-entertain and play amongst themselves in between transition of the games. Love the company! :) Even though a few hiccups here and there, I believe they are all inevitable. God is most gracious because it can only be Him and Him only that gave us favourable weather conditions!

In the midst of ice breakers and getting-to-know-yous, among the pictures collated, I spin a tale between a boy and a girl, Mark and Elaine respectively. Boy meets girl, impresses her with piano pieces.

She interrupts when he plays the wrong key. They fight over the piano.

The woman triumphs victoriously. She always dominates. (Don't fret, I'm no feminist)

Back to games!

Courtesy of Lyd and Sarah who were photographers snapping pictures for keepsake. :)

Uploading the pictures zapped the life outta me. A lot more but what's here is more than enough! I have other things to rant about but not tonight! Pictures, steal away!

2008-08-30T00:52:00.003+08:00

Responding to the low biorhythms
Teachers' Day celebration in school today was quite impressive I must say. Certain individuals do have the capability of carrying a fine tune. Very pleasing to the ears and I think highly qualified to take part in Sg Idol :) *mesmerized

Anyhoos I haven't had the time to get back to studying I don't know why the lazy bugs in me just wouldn't go away! Oh no what if they intend to be permanent residents! My As will be a goner! *panics!!

Thou shalt promise to gear up once I'm done with my library books! For now, mother is competing time with me on the book. Fancy a -- (age censored to protect mother's dignity) reading the kind of fiction I adore. Fiction are as sinful as desserts. They take up time from more quality reading material; say Bible, Time magazine, Straits Time, basically non-fiction. The one I'm currently addicted to is The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 3/4! :D His life is sucha comedy and his thoughts are ridiculously fascinating! ;)

'Nuff said let's move on(this phrase sounds familiar because you read the words of AMK MP on the Olympics saga).

26th August; Amelia's extremely late birthday celebration
Sushi buffet saw me eating like a glutton (Noelle can testify anytime). Satisfying and value-for-money meal because we consumed a lot of sashimi yummy! :D Compared to the other dishes, the plate of sashimi was wiped out in record time! I'm hungry thinking about food! *drools

We made Amelia do stupid stunts after lunch by flashing the ~~cheapo~~hand-made signs that read "I'm 18 finally FREE HUGS FOR ALL" at the front and "I am Amelia KICK ME" at the back. The silly things we can only do when we are young ;p

Hokay a few more pages before book completes and high time to study! It's 9 weeks to the D-Day I have a love-hate relationship for it yeek!

2008-08-26T23:34:00.004+08:00

Complete contentment and harmony
There was never a dull moment since holidays started! :) Very satisfied with how I spent it. Love the people and the memories we have created together! :D

22nd August, NUS and dinner date
On Friday, I took on the self assuming role as a NUS business student and attended lectures. It was hard getting used to lecture style since study break and the onslaught of prelim. What more 2 hours! Very draining to say the least but fairly engaging lecturers make time pass quickly. I think I might consider business! :D Afterwhich was dinner with pBf (miserable attendance but still good catchup!). Moreover the whole day with Min was insightful, she gave me a tour around her school and introduced the apparently famous yong tau foo which turned out alright. Treading on the humble neighbourhood grounds of Clementi made me realised there are only 2 pathetic bubble tea shops that made us search high and low for.

24th August; TJC wargames prep
On most sundays it would be a rush home to either study or catch up on sleep just to be prepared for another week of school but this week was different! :D Love the phrase take time and smell the flowers :) Lingered in church to watch the committee prepare and try out the war games for next week! I love TJC youth because they are the people who love me so unconditionally and keep me in prayers in difficult moments. We are like a one big family and it's so heartwarming and blessed to be part of it <3

25th August, Baking at Sel's
We were being ambitious when we planned on accomplishing two recipes in a day! Managed to only complete one which turned out thoroughly successful (duh!) ;P I love baking and making a mess of the kitchen especially with the company of girlfriends! Baking alone can be so tedious. One has to worry the correct measure of every ingredient, plan and execute the following step solo. Very stressful.

The classmates celebrated Amelia's birthday and I ate like a bottomless pit (as usual). I really must cut down on my portions before I start growing sideways yeek. Okay peektures for this another day! Back to school tomorrow (ooohh how exciting) and probably prelim results start coming back. The bed beckons (as always)!

2008-08-21T23:55:00.008+08:00

Lay back listen and let it go
Prelims are over the hills, down the Nigerian falls and into the longkang outside my house! Im loving life after prelims! :D Wanted to hit the gym after paper but went shopping instead! The visit to library was truly satisfying! :) If time hadn't pass so quickly (and if they had turn up the temperature- it was freezing!) I would have combed the entire level 2 bookshelves! Anyhow quite productive: 3 books to complete before school reopens on Wed! 2 technically since the other is a cookbook for Monday ;D

The prelim period could be a blessing in disguise. It was the perfect excuse to avoid both people and situation. Fancy getting accused of being a third party and to put up with all sorts of degrading adjectives that serve to divert my attention away from books. They say sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never harm me but if you throw enough dirt, some will stick, dumb.

Skies are clear and Im walking on sunshine (remember the M1 advertisement!) it's post-prelim celebration till I start my motor again; this time for the last hurdle.

16th August; SIL's Advance 21st birthday celebration
A lot of mingling with the sibling and SIL's friends but they are all nice people who have the fuuniest reactions to Channel 5's telecast of Olympics espically when it came to the Jamaican sprinter whose dash to the finishing line was breathtaking :D I can't remember his name but he was so impressive he was way aheaddddd of his competitors! Still, Michael Phelps is the man, the bomb, the Olympic warrior. *dreams

The night left me with a horrible experience with whisky yeek.

Min Im all yours tomorrow and you belong soley to me! ;p

2008-08-15T23:35:00.003+08:00

Tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know
Im pretty convinced that prelims were meant to leave no survivors behind. Bah it really doesn't make much of a difference if i have studied. Damn Depressed Dawn.

The exam venue for Math today was classic- classroom beside the canteen! An ingenious idea! I wonder which joker's plan to put us there. Not only were there noises coming from the god-forbidden place, the school's cat had to intrude, sat below my seat and started meowing non-stop. I may be an animal lover but they should never interrupt especially during exam conditions. It was a spectacle to watch the invigilator picking up a broom to shoo it away. Poor meow.

Anyway that only goes to show how pathetic the environment is to take ~~exams~~ prelims. I feel deprived of better facilities.

Math paper was madness I think they mixed up the questions with H2 by mistake. Pity on my overworked brain so no studying tonight whoops slacker.

P/S Olympic medal secured for Singapore alas! :D

2008-08-12T21:00:00.006+08:00

The last one before the finale
Hokay prelims have officially started here in the heartlands of Yishun. Probably the first school to have them ggrrr. But then again earlier or later, I'll hafta face it no matter so might as well get over and done with it; celebrate post-prelims, get results, sink into emo stage, learn from mistakes and get prepared for the last lap.

~~1208 History P2~~
1408 GP & Economics P2
1508 Math
1808 History P1
1908 Economics P1
2008 English P1
2108 English P2

SEA paper I didn't touch Political Structure and I was jumping for joy (happy feet under the table!!) when it didn't come out YIPEEEE!! :D Psstt Cambridge don't set any on it pleaseeee I give you chocolate.

OH-LIMP-PIGS super duper mega ultraman distractingggggggg. And so are Korean dramas coupled with Youtube SYTYCD season 4! The champion is crowned already by the way. Channel 5 season 3 snail-paced. Oh plus special guest appearance Jonas Brothers on season 4. Sizzling hot.

Potential study date tomorrow with Krys oh boy I haven't seem her for so long I needa suck econ juice from her. Or maybe swap brains just for Thursday.

2008-08-09T17:52:00.002+08:00

Will there be strength in vulnerability
Heavy downpour over here; Marina Bay will not be spared from this bad weather. Spirits of the NDP participants must have been dampened and spectators are probably cursing under their breath. The aftermath of rain- wet seats, slippery ground, chilly weather- not the best conditions to hold a parade yeek.

I wanted to blog yesterday on the auspicious date 080808! Better still I was dreaming if I could be one of the happy brides walking down the aisle in my late twenties. Hohoho slap me back to reality it's As this year for me.

Winnie is taking Japanese Studies and that's so intriguing! If there's a country comparable to Singapore, that would be Japan! I don't think I would have any qualms to migrate after I have overcome the language barrier :D Oh, hafta consider high cost of living too. Gulps.

Hokay back to studies! My study timetable instructs me to do Math now! I haven't touch that since I-can't-even-remember-when, so that's going to be a chore. Wish me luck and happy national day to one and all! :)

2008-08-06T00:37:00.005+08:00

Use me as you will; pull my strings just for a thrill
Study break leaves me with extra time to doodle with Blogger even though the principal actually warned us to refrain from the the internet and uhm, shamefully, littering too. Give me your sympathy because Im not only deprived of the much talk-about SINGFEST but also a date with The Dark Knight. Boohoo!

Ever since Mimi's death, the radio conveniently filled in the vacuum and Im not complaining! Im loving the Muttons; they are hilarious! What's more, Jonas Brothers are the bomb! Yay happy music keeps me sane! :D

27th July; CCK Anniversary

2nd August; Dinner with SMPS Netball girls

PSST I'll be posting up Prelims Timetable soon so watch this space and keep me in prayers thank you very much yo! :)

2008-07-31T00:27:00.002+08:00

Consequence is no coincidence
I look at her foolishness and I see a reflection of myself. What a sight.

2008-07-26T16:09:00.011+08:00

Silence has a sound: the hush sound
Now that the prelims are drawing closer than ever, weekends are supposed to be all study and no play. How completely wrong, when in a few hours' time there's a possibility of me taking my second ride at Singapore Flyer and watching Peepshow's mini gig at Orchard.

Did I mention that my Beloved Mimi drowned and died? Im depressed! My clumsiness has taken Mimi's life from me boohoo! The rain contributed to her death too! For details, ask me. Anyhoos Im contemplating between resurrecting her or get a new substitute. (By the way, Mimi is the name of my iPod.)

24th July; Dinner with Gen

I haven't been pushing myself very hard for the coming Prelims like I did for BT3. Maybe I lack the motivation, maybe cos half the time I am still trying to make sense of the lectures notes, it's discouraging in any case. In due time we'll finally see there's barely time for us to breathe.

2008-07-16T21:52:00.005+08:00

This is frightening but oh so enlightening
Im not sorry that most of you have came and left here disappointed. Perhaps it seems that the owner of this blog might have just disintegrated into the surface of this earth when actually Im alive and kicking and have been occupying myself with so much oh dear I think I think too little and have resorted to go with the flow I wonder where all this will lead to and hopefully not naught.

The number of counter hits been hitting all time high I feel a tad uneasy (understatement at its best) expressing my thoughts freely even though this is my space and I ought to feel home but I don't.

Yet the private site isn't helping much since most people have asked to get access to it and since Im one who finds 'no' a hard word to say, I give in and after I do, I regret the next second and hence it becomes stagnant. Deserted. Isolated. Zilch.

Days have been kept busy with not just school although it certainly takes up four-fifth of my waking hours. Today I realised how physcially inactive I have been ever since BT3 I need a serious work-out before all the fats start to jump on me and refuse to budge. At the same time Im aware of how much work I need to put into studies. Results from BT3 were't quite promising even though there was progress. By golly I put in 101% effort for all except Math and Econ I was expecting some decent grades and all I had were slight improvements. This is infuriating. PFFTTT.

At least I now know I need 102%.

On a heavier note (if that was not upsetting enough), Dr Ong Chit Chung passed away last Monday and although there were never concrete conversations made with him, his character is admirable even though he may be high and mighty up there being the minister and all the works, my grandparents regarded him as a humble chap and generous one too. His passing was unexpected and shocking to say the least. The last time I saw him I didn't know he had aged so much as the photos you would see in the papers. He certainly looked in the pink of health. As cliche as it sounds- how fragile life is. Yet we all know he is in a better place; in heaven; singing with the choirs of angels and had stepped into life eternity.

It is only heaven where we can call home home.

2008-07-06T00:07:00.002+08:00

Off the shackles and chains Im free
The idea behind the haircut has got to be more than just merely snipping away the unsightly split ends, off the long heavy tresses and don a brand new look- fringe revolution for that matter. What lies beneath; it doesn't come as close as anything simple. Quit asking me why I chose to look different. If you know me well enough you would understand that it did nothing but made me feel better. I feel lighter as a person, inside and out. I could put on wings and fly sky high.

Knowingly or not, I don't doubt that I have committed a colossal number of mistakes in just the past few years alone. But even if there comes a day when something happens to show that my life's been nothing more than a seismic, never-ending nosedive, at least I won't get to say that I'd never known what it's like to follow my heart.

And if I were to end up falling, then at least it was done with the most electrifying of blind faith and belief, at least I'd have flopped with all the grandeur of hair-flipping-in-the-roaring-wind, and an ideal derived from nowhere else but the innermost of my being. I wouldn't know what I would do, but there would be a chapter closed and I have been nothing but true.

You could say it's all in my head, but who really knows what goes on up in there.

I lost myself for good when I stood before the alter crying buckets. I haven't cried for so long and hard for a really long time; my eyes are beginning to swell. The more I tried to stop the tears, the louder I sob and so tonight was a moment of release. To release and find myself in God who gives and takes away. I can't tell you why He does that but I know that He is good and He works in the most unimaginable yet perfect ways for His children.

And since Im His daughter all I need is to have simple faith. I believe that's what christianity is all about as well.

I will take the leap of faith everyday.

2008-07-02T00:27:00.027+08:00

Every second was a precious moment cherished
In an attempt to improve on Math, stats especially, I patiently sit through 2 hours trying to figure out binomial and normal distribution. My inspiration comes from my former Math teacher I bumped into on the way to school yesterday morning! It's YJ loss to have him now working for MOE; he was amazingly patient with me when he taught me H2. Anyway he still remembers my name (yay!) and is still as bubbly as ever :D Sighs he will never know how big a crush I had on him :/ I would have told him but he is married and was always mentioning his wife in tutorials. I had to be the quiet green eye monster boohoo.

28th June, Hannah B's 21st Bday
The party was simple, with a handful of people that I belive was close to her heart. The company who took time to attend probably love Hannah for who she is; I for one, treasure her immensely. Im always thankful to God for blessing me with this friendship. And also for besties; priceless gift <3

All the other photos on facebook. Yet to upload though! ;p

2008-06-30T20:19:00.021+08:00

Don't throw this chance away
School officially resumes today and oh boy it was difficult trying to stay awake during lectures. It's extremely annoying when I keep nodding off when I sincerely don't mind sleeping (because in all honesty I was so tiredddd)! Needless to say, thanks to the new look, I had my share of weird stares, attention from strangers and friends' who laughed and complimented on it. What a way to start the term!

I can't imagine getting back on track to studying; this time for the coming prelims that begins in mid August! I played so hard after Math last Thursday all the way till weekends. It's almost impossible to start the engine again but y'know I would finally have to so why not straight after this entry.

27th June, 4 girls and a guy date
DD, QH, Est and Char didn't make it that evening. If not, it would have been 8 girls and a guy. Dar would be overjoyed hahah :p Anyway Naph introduced this Ramen place even though I was yearning for margarita at Iguana's! Wails! The queue for Ramen was so long we used the time to camwhore and listened to Dar's quick-tickle-me-I-ain't-laughing jokes.

I have yet to meet QH (before she flies off to Aussie), Ftm, Edmund, pbf as a whole and besties! YAY all just before prelims! :D

2008-06-27T13:48:00.013+08:00

Time can't erase a feeling this strong
In a moment of relieve or impulse- however you like to put it- I went to chop my hair. For a girl who doesn't like hair in her face, for a girl who doesn't like her hair to be layered, I did everything that I didn't like. Just to understand the passing of time fully; my hair will grow; my wounds will heal.

It would be believable if someone told me yesterday was Friday 13th. The thing was, it wasn't. Math paper was at its worse! I couldn't do the pure math questions, much less stats! All the staying up to get myself familiarised on the approach for different topics. I should have never deprived sleep for math. Not the best tradeoff anyway. Apart from all the drama during Math (which also includes realising that all 3 mechanical pencils I brought do not contain lead and I panic like a crazy woman trying to get my neighbour's attention for a decent pencil), dinner with Gen cost her to lose her handphone. We only left the area for merely 15seconds and rushed back to retrieve the phone but y'know finders keepers losers weepers. It was nowhere to be found :/ And that bad evil person switched the phone off! SO DELIBERATE PFFTT!

You are my beauty queen come what may <3

The crime scene where the phone was misplaced. We know we are so reliant on technology when the feeling of handicap eats into us. It really should be the same thing when it comes to God.

2008-06-21T02:11:00.009+08:00

Turning away and never ever looking back again
Time is gonna take my mind
and carry it far away where I can fly
The depth of life will dim the temptation to live for you
If I were to be alone silence would rock my tears
'cause it's all about love and I know better
How life is a waving feather

YOU ARE MY MISS SINGAPORE SWEETHEART NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS EVENTUALLY. AS YOU GO FORTH IN YOUR FIRST PAGEANT ROUND, I APOLOGISE THAT I CAN'T GO DOWN TO CHEER MY LUNGS OUT FOR YOU BUT Y'KNOW DEEP DOWN IM VERY PROUD THAT YOU HAVE COME THUS FAR AND STILL GOING STRONG IN THE RIGHT SPIRIT. JUST ENJOY THE EXPERIENCE SWEETHEART <3

2008-06-19T23:41:00.003+08:00

Emptying the contents in my head

BLK TEST 3 SCHEDULE:
230608 ECON
240608 ENGLISH LIT
250608 HISTORY
260608 MATH
270608 PARTEHHH :D

Afterwhich would be prelims and As! Ohmygoodnessthisishotstuff :/

I haven't been teevee-ing a lot lately. And that's not because I have been mugging hard either. I found a new outlet for entertainment! YAY! Eh, stress-relief, to put it in a nicer manner. Im charged less guilty for not studying also hehe!

While Mediacorp is still at snail-pace to air the auditions for SYTYCD Season 3, Im already at Season 4 courtesy of YOUTUBE :D Seasons 2 and 3 are comparable! I remember supporting Benji all the way and he was crowned Season 2 winner! I wished Lauren won in Season 3 but she didn't. Anyway Im rooting for her till the end even though the spaghetti friend and bestfriend disagrees with me hmph! She is my latest craze~! It's funny when the couples dance; I just tend to concentrate on the female rather than the male dancer. It's so natural but my eyes would automatically focus on the former. Especially when it comes to her! Oh my there has to be something special about her because she got my attention and somehow no one agrees! Why not!

Anyhoos here are the really good dance videos! I guarantee you you would be inspired to be a dancer. If you have two left feet, you would secretly vow to yourself that you would send your children to dance classes when the time is ripe!

Mom watched this and thought there was something wrong with the video when really it is their slick movements that she had been mistaken.

This is awesome; it sent chills down my spine!

Saving the best for the last! My favourite dancer Lauren Gottlieb!

LAUREN! LAUREN! LAUREN!

I meant,

BLK TEST! BLK TEST! BLK TEST!

2008-06-12T01:47:00.009+08:00

Release just to be filled with the right emotions

KCP still feels like second home even after graduating 2++ years ago. The environment screams familiarity and of memories that will be forever etched in my head. A place I know friendships are forged for a lifetime in the name of Girls' Brigade ;)

8th June; HAPPY 21ST BDAY DENNIS
I was expecting myself to leave the party within 30 mins since I figured that more than half the population would be strangers. Anyway strangers became acquaintance and soonafter we were friends. So the night stretched from 8 in the evening all the way till 330 in the morning. We live a stone's throw away anyway.

The number of people who attended the party excluding his relatives yadayada. So imagine the crowd in the house.

That poor birthday boy didn't know what awaited him after he cut his cake was a pail of dirty water ready and prepared to splash on him. Not once but twice! Yeek

Marc doing dirty job! VILLAIN!!!

Sighs! Heart ache haha

Groupie!

Candid pic: Cass and Dennis

Colleen and Simone

Rachel, Dawn and DD

The netball gang

Marc looks super funny here HAHA

After 15 jumpshots, this was our purr-fect L-O-V-E. The time was 12 plus then. Imagine the amount of noise we made. Credits to Cass. He should be awarded Mr Patient for tolerating our nonsense :D

GB camp in 5 hours and Church camp in 10 hours' time! It's home alone part II for me since parents are away for the latter and the sibling sleeps in hall. Im getting used to the ~~lonelieness~~independence. Plus I won't bee seeing neither Lyd nor the my Spaghetti friend online. Who is going to talk to me online wails!!

2008-06-10T22:33:00.002+08:00

Absorbing the spectrums from A - Z

The rain was major spoiler because
01 automatically cancelled my night jog
02 effectively making me a lil fatter
03 reminisced and cried

So much for trying to put up a shield when it eventually crumbles with influence from the weather. I need to work out something concrete; this will not do.

Oh Im beginning to lose the momentum to study.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30

I'll claim that with an Amen.

2008-06-09T20:44:00.003+08:00

In short most of them should be stoned to death

On MSN.com, I learnt that-

“Men are hunters, and hunters need to hunt.” They enjoy the uncertainty of the chase, and they get especially pumped by having to work hard to land their prey.

Sheesh shameless fools.

2008-06-07T21:43:00.004+08:00

Tired and jaded this road is unsafe

Two weeks before Block Test 3, aka the last one before prelims and then the frightening As! I feel motivated to resume studying right after this post!

Holidays provide opportunities for meet-ups and I wanna see girlfriends badly boohoo!

Meanwhile I did a personality test. It's so true yet creepy. Try it for yourself!

You Are An ENFJ

The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.

Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.

Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.

You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.

In love, you are very protective and supporting.

However, you do need to "feel special" - and it's quite easy for you to get jealous.

At work, you are a natural leader. You can help people discover their greatest potential.

You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

How you see yourself: Trusting, idealistic, and expressive

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Bossy, inappropriate, and loud

What's Your Personality Type?

2008-05-31T10:52:00.010+08:00

One heart is enough to save sit back and watch it all go

When the modem decides to die, it could just be a blessing in disguise for more study time. The revival then calls for a potential distraction which I eventually succumb. Days have been spent trying to study and digest helluva thick notes; it's torturous considering the amount of topics I have yet to cover. I wanna pass all my subjects except econ this coming block tests pleaseeeeeeeeee.

28th May, Heeren NYDC

Selene is back for summer break. Desserts were sinfully good; the next time I go back, it'll solely be on dessert spree. It'll probably be my last time at Heeren's NYDC because service was terrible. Come 15th June is Hannah B's return and it will be another dinner date and spilling session yay.

I need to hit the books.

2008-05-26T00:50:00.002+08:00

A friend is the man who knows everything about me and still likes for who I am

What do I recognise of myself;
At the snap of the fingers I realise
The epiphany dawns again and then -
Then I forget again.
I say never, never again.
But I relent and I lose myself again.
It gets tiring.

I know, I know, I know.
Just don't let me hear you say that you've always known
That I'm just that kind of person. Again.

23rd May, Holland V Wala Wala

What you see is only one-third of what we took. I will probably upload everything in Facebook given the time. When girls come together, they not only talk, laugh and make fools of ourselves but flash. I don't remember a minute of silence the minute we gathered together.

Oh the current song is playing is a blend of emo and romance. Im learning how to play it but yknow its so difficult Im desperate for scores! All male spouses should sing to their other-half (never mind if you are gay), its the perfect song for lovers.
"I will share the air I breathe, I give you my heart on a string..."
SIGHS *melts

For the record, I studied 2 days in a row, covering Rise Of Prewar Nat + JO. Beginning to find SEA history interesting which is really good. It was never the case months before. I ought to feel accomplish but I don't because I have so many matters at hand I don't know where to start and sometimes I would like some time to sit and cry but I know that won't solve the problem too so I just pray because miracles do happen.

2008-05-24T00:56:00.000+08:00

Out to save a worthless soul You chose not to despise

Dinner date at Holland V was so good woohoo~! Camwhored like mad but yknow I won't put up pictures yet because uploading will cost me sufficient sleep for lecture at ~~friggin'~~ 8am tomorrow. Seriously. Who. Starts. Lectures. So. Early. On. A. Saturday. Morning. Puh-lease.

Anyway anyway anway! The Pedra Branca verdict was out this afternoon! We now have another island to get tan in, extra Sg Flyer, Wild Wild Wet theme park and other highly entertaining stuff. Above all, we should have our very own Disneyland. Ah, why yes! That's the whole idea of Pedra Branca isn't it?

I should stop hallucinating.

See what Champions League has done to me. A Chelsea fan has to weather all sorts of critcisms and mockeries. Like hello, never heard of "failure is the mother of success"? DD is super uber cute; sent a text to ask if Im okay. DD DA BEST! <3

Not too long ago I attempted to figure out the chords for Death Cab For Cutie's What Sarah Said. The melody was repetitive throughout (sounded like that to me) so I thought maybe it would be fairly easy. Now, everyone knows that yours truly cannot play by hearing for nuts and because I don't practice the piano very often, that puts me in an even more pathetic situation. After what seems years, I got the intro. Yay finally! Accomplishment! As much as Im proud of myself, Im contemplating to just buy scores off the internet. So much for patience.

This post don't sound coherent. Not the best time to demand for eloquence after a lil alochol and truckloads of happypills. I need to sleep.

2008-05-22T00:49:00.003+08:00

Would you rather be happy or right

At this time I should be asleep but Im not. My head weighs a ton and as soon as it lies on the pillow, a sharp pain persists. It is as though thorns have grown at the back of my head forbidding me to find a comfortable angle to rest.

Freezing cold lecture theatres and oven-operated classrooms just don't mix. Not for me at least; resulted in spinning head and high fever. Dr Looi's jab to lower down my temperature today (technically yesterday since it's past twelve) had the worst prickling sensation! He lied when he said it would merely be an ant bite. I hate liars. Okay let's not get personal.

Mom says I can only take the medication within 4 hours. Im eligible to pop another pill but here comes the problem. The label says "After food". So just what happens if you defy that authoritative message and down that pill; before food, or better yet, without food?

Does that mean:
a) Your stomach reacts in a horrific manner and maybe you'll die.
b) The pill still works.
c) The pill loses its effect, hence you remain sick.
d) None of the above.

Eating and brushing my teeth again is not an option. Too much of a hassle and so I popped the pill anyway. Let's all pray and hope my indignation won't cause a very untimely death - after all, I've got school tomorrow. Can't skip anymore classes. Okay better sleep soon! Now!

To those who are concerned: I've turned down UAN for now. Probably join them after As and moreover they are willing to take me in too. I need to grow 3cm taller in order to be qualified as their model. From now till Nov, 3cm shouldn't be a problem, uhm, I hope.

2008-05-17T23:31:00.005+08:00

Don't even try to understand the complexity

Funny how a person can enter my mind and linger till no end
Funny how quickly you came and left in a short span of time
Funny how I never detected a heartbreaker a mile away

Funny how we look the same in a different light

Funny how a certain song can remind me of you
Funny how a particular spot used to be a meeting place
Funny how the brain chooses to store both the happy and painful memories

Funny how one thing happens and changes the whole point of view

Funny how I try so hard to occupy my thoughts to keep you far away
Funny how a cute councillor in school can be a substitute
Funny how I look forward to school just to catch a glimpse of him

Funny how and why he can never take your place

Funny how I have let worldly affairs consume my heart and mind

Funny how God speaks and tells me He is going to be all that I ever need

2008-05-14T20:21:00.022+08:00

There are better things to think about than you

I'm not the easiest person to love
But you, you've opened your heart to show me what I'm worth
There will never come a day when I can doubt the love they have for me. It's always genuine; from the bottom of the hearts even after seeing the skeletons in my closet.

3rd May; The Birthday Surprise during Youth Service for Le Pastor

Jogathon today! I frequent East Coast these days Im considering moving to the East because of pretty skies, sea and sand. My photography skills are improving tremendously! Extremely pleased with the photos I took today! Beginning to regret that I joined Netball whooops I have Emm doesn't read this.

In school for half-day lessons before setting off to East Coast, we checked the weather forecast. Dark gloomy clouds at every corner in Singapore!

Off to East Coast yay!

Isn't this beautiful? My God is so creative!

Okay Eddie's shots were really bad and many of us looked extremely unprepapred (euphemism for unglam) in them so let's keep unpleasant photos out of sight.

Anyway my interview was successful. I would like to think it that way even though I can't be a model SIGHS. My manager-to-be (I hope to establish working relations with her even though dad seems to be objecting) opened up all the options to me except modelling which is my first love among the rest. Apparently my height does not reach its requirement. Probably the first time I know that Im not tall enough.

I should be thankful I don't sing like Mr Spencer. He is everything but a good singer.

2008-05-10T23:16:00.012+08:00

Everything will be nothing if You say so

This weekend, families big and small will be celebrating Mothers' Day. It's a time where they all come together regardless how busy work schedules are. I wonder where's the sibling tonight. Hope he turns up tomorrow for service at least.

Anyway today was pretty eventful! Brekkie with Louis and I finally tried McGriddles! Everyone is complaining that it's too sweet and that its a bad idea to sandwich egg and sausage between the pancakes. Seriously, I thought it was good. Anything sweet appeals to me I think.

He kinda moved at the wrong time, hence ruining the picture. I was so hungry it didn't matter to me since we only live a stone's throw away, this wouldn't be the last brekkie session. LOUIS SOH I OWE YOU 3.60$ LOL.

The weather was fantasticcc today! CLOUDY! No sun! No rain! Perfect for outdoor activities! Took the rusty roller blades coated with cobwebs and headed down to East Coast. Alone doesn't mean lonely okay haha. Thank God for protection because I guess the blades were really giving way (haven't use them for too long) and the wheels kept giving me problems; was so close to falling a couple of times.
Saw some familiar faces and it was embarassing because I couldn't remember them when they approached me. As I recount this, I have completely forgotten all their names once again.

After 3 hours of going round East Coast, I hope some belly fat was burnt off! Quite certain about that since I couldn't feel my limbs when I sat down and admired the sun setting and colours in the sky! God is a brilliant artist but my photography skills don't do His work justice!

Mom called to ask my whereabouts soonafter and they decided on JUMBO for dinner since Im there anyway. Together with cousins, uncles and aunties plus grams, we had seafood!

The place was packed like sardines! We waited so long for our food we had to snatch for the last peanut. No pictures to show you sumptuous meal because I was busy peeling prawns and enjoying man tous dipped in chilli crab sauce. Im hungry thinking about it!

Because all mothers love their kids and love should only be recipocated in this circumstance, I presented to her with my first attempt at no bake cheesecake. She said it was too sweet. Yknow what, it will not be surprising at all if I get diabetes. Even Mr Woo thinks I have a weak bladder yeek.

2008-05-09T22:19:00.005+08:00

A confetti of obligations

Crossroads won't happen if Im decisive. Beauty pageant or part time artiste. Or maybe none so that I won't jeopardise my As.

Mommy says none is best because time is monay and I can't rewind when it slips away.

Hokay time is essence so I need to do homework + revision + 7 hours of sleep (according to Justin that's ideal) and recharged myself during weekends! YAY!

I want to be a little superhero girl!! (:
I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world
Everybody wants a piece of me
And I just don't know where to turn
I've got work piled up to my head
All I want to do is jump into bed
And wash away my troubles with lemonade
And I know I can with God's strength Amen!

2008-05-06T21:54:00.003+08:00

No need to knock I left the door unlocked

Camera broke down on me so Im left with zero photos to upload! My paparazzi partners in crime should send me so I can boast to you the birthday surprise partehhh the youth did last saturday for May! :D Birthdays are so wonderful even though it means getting older. But really, who wants to grow up? Not when one can enjoy privileges, say, student rate prices- transport concessions, KFC meals and whatnot.

Im a happy girl tonight because after school was Gelare's ice cream waffles with May. (Oh yes ice cream again so how now brown cow, what happened to my diet plan.) That was not it: A stranger approached and apparently he was from some talent scout organisation. Orchard is flooded with these kinda people I swear. They claim they are from abc or xyz model companies and all that crap and pester to take down your contact number or threaten to jump down Swissotel (okay I was kidding about the last part but you get my drift).

Anyhoos, this one seemed real and convincing enough. He sounded sincere and professional (with namecard and all) than previous stalkers haha. I hadn't realise he was trying to catch up with me since my earphones were plugged in. He tapped me from the back, panting and said, "Hey I had a hard time chasing you. Are you in a hurry? Im xxx from xxx. Do you have a minute to spare?"

For the first time I gave my real contact number. It could just be another career opportunity. Who knows? ;)

2008-05-01T21:32:00.004+08:00

Days could go on like this and nothing more

In chronological order- morning walk/jog at MacRitchie reservoir, home to shower, brunch at Holland V, roller blading at East Coast, drop by Parkway Parade and VJ, up the Singapore Flyer, tennis game.

The mee rebus at Parkway Parade foodcourt is awesome! I never like mee rebus (like I never did like lor mee). Thick gravy is like glue when it goes down my throat. Eeww. But this one is really different! And good! Gravy at its perfection! However the crowd was annoying; I have demophobia.

Now that I've seen Singapore in the day, I can't wait to watch at bird's view at night. Must be pretty with the lights! :D

All in a day's work; just the both of us.

2008-04-29T20:51:00.003+08:00

You'll die and stand your ground

If there's anyone should die of a calorie-overload, it would have to be me. Im guilty of stuffing myself silly with too much ice cream since Sunday! B&J was simply irresistible I had two cones today! RJ match tomorrow; even if I have wings of an eagle, it would not help to elevate as high as possible yeek. FAT FAT FAT. Oh but the sugar high keeps me sane.

Should I ever have to consider the whos, the hows and the whys. Don't worry I wouldn't bother. Because neither of us have changed, therein lies the problem.

2008-04-27T21:39:00.004+08:00

Include me in this love triangle and make us square

It's inevitable if too much texting brings back memories. I think I miss him. SIGHS

Training yesterday giving me body aches my goodness I hope it all goes away tomrrow when we play against NJ. Im still feeling slightly sore losing to PJ. The huge margin completely caught me by surprise! Boohoo Im aware Im lack sportmanship, or sportswoman ship for that matter, so sue me.

This week is going to be full of competitions. On hindsight, there would be more sleep and almost negligible revision done. Not that there is in the first place before A divs began whoops.

The cover story on Straits Time today was heart-wrenching. The love that endures even after years of marriage and he choose to kill himself because he doesn't want his wife to be lonely. Such unconditional love, such child-like innocence.

Tomorrow is a better day. Less accidents on the road, cloudy day and victory for team YJ! YAY!

2008-04-23T23:13:00.002+08:00

Count on your freedom fighters

The Kosovo Parody Song shown in History lecture was thoroughly entertaining I have to share it :D Too bad the lyrics I searched for wasn't exactly for this version. Oh well, open up your ears and be attentive. It isn't hard to figure out what they are trying to say.

Training at 0645 tomorrow. I would be surprised if I can get up in time for it.

2008-04-20T23:23:00.019+08:00

For those who remain true

The weekends are over in less than an hour's time! Why oh why does time hafta pass ever so quickly just when Im beginning to get some decent rest from all the hustle and bustle. I. AM. TIRED. PERIOD. It's strangely unusual that I've been having a lot of dreams these days and Im not one who has them often since on most nights Im too tired to think of anything before I fall into slumber. Mr Spencer shared with us one of his wacky dreams during tutorial not too long. It was hilarious- he dreamt he was making out with an indian bus driver! Now, who would have thought! ;P

Picnic today within the girls' cell was fun. Good fellowship and fruitful discussions without the disruption of boys whoops.

Pictures from BBGB Enrolment. There are a lot more but yknow the zzz monster is getting to me. I can fall asleep while waiting for this dang thing to upload. I was incredibly burnt that day after training my middle name was lobster.

Hello Kryssie, Im so glad we made it though this enrolment eventually! There were certainly many disagreements and misunderstandings that surfaced but what matters most now is that we did an excellent job. At least that's what I think hehe. Given a choice I would still choose to work with you in this project (: That said, let's not relive those moments unless necessary okay hahah. XOXO
P/S Remember the vouchers :D

2008-04-20T00:46:00.004+08:00

Just a simple conversation;
Just a moment is all it takes

This has gotten be the best picture ever because we all look so happy together. It would be better with DD in it- shows the remaining survivors from my batch who is still serving in BB & GB. There were many more pictures taken but my camera died on me halfway through and I hafta collect some from other people before I upload all here. It was sucha tiring day because I had netball all the way at Kallang in the morning and following that was the much aniticpated combined enrolment.

I believe Nat must be still partying away on his 21st bday celebration. And Penny's bday falls on the same day too. HAPPY HAPPY BDAY TO THE 19TH APRIL BABIES <3

2008-04-16T21:10:00.004+08:00

Cause did I mention you're about to miss a good thing;
Like to never know how good it feels to have all of my affection

For some reason, I got my hands on a whole collection of love songs lately. It accumulated from those of yesteryears to the very recent ones from Kris and some oldies I found in my dad's car. Anyhoos I got them all transferred into handy ipod, Mimi. Too much of a good thing becomes bad when the mind begins to unlock memories that were stashed away in gloomy corners, making me in the mood to fall in love all over again-

In reality, perfection does not exist. Perfection is only perfect because you want it to be. Perfection is merely perceived, but who would fault you if make-perfect of the things that surround you? If you could, you would. I would. The eternal optimist, if I could be.

Perfection, to me, would be meeting a You. You would look like this: Floppy hairdo, unshaven, but not in a castaway manner. You would wear oversized flannel shirts, or plain T-shirts with charity messages scrawled across the front, and maybe a straw hat on hot days. You would wear flip flops, carry a knapsack, and wear exotic bracelets and each one would mean something, refer You to a piece of memory. Something, someone, maybe somewhere. Maybe You would smoke, maybe You wouldn't, but the weaknesses of a struggling artist can be alluring.

We'd stay up in the night to discuss poetry, You'd illuminate the metaphors or literary allusions that I've missed out on. Of course, I'd do the same. You wouldn't be that smart. Not in Literature. Some nights We may hold differing views, and maybe still hold on to the different truths by the end of the discussions, but that is beauty. On other nights we would do away with words that I love and deal with numbers that you adore. You would work on challenging sums and I would watch in amazement.

We'd fall asleep while talking about the things that make Us sad, the things in this world that could be made better. Less judgment, less confinements, more freedom of expression. We'd talk about places where individualism thrives, where people don't see the need to conform to societal norms, where people are applauded for being who they are.

We'd fall asleep with thoughts and hopes of change, and this is all the encouragement that We need to make it through another day with smiles that communicate so much joy, nobody would hold suspicions about the conversations that We have as the dark settles. The Happy Peas that aren't unhappy per se, but could undoubtedly be happier.

While We fall into slumber, We'll stumble upon dreams that put ideas in Our heads. A Better Tomorrow, they say. One day, they suggest. If We could bring Our dreams back home, We'd wake up in cocoons of clouds, like spiderwebs spun by a Higher Power that We'd still continue to question till the end of time. We'd come back with the Authentic Diary of Anne Frank, or hold Hitler's Mein Kampf in squealing delight and disbelief. We would come back with fantasies made real. It'd be a whirlwind adventure, wouldn't it?

We could be happy. I know I could be.
Right now, I think this would be Perfect.

2008-04-14T23:43:00.003+08:00

Fill my heart with song and let me sing for ever more

I was doing a mini research on HFMD for my geepee essay and came across this article titled "MOH says no cause for alarm despite rise in HFMD cases". Like hello, my mum, dad and grandparents were all worried sick when they knew I caught that disease in sec4. What more pre-school children with weaker immunity?

Sometimes I really do think that life is but a stage. Crap.

2008-04-10T00:54:00.002+08:00

The rainbow is at the end just wait

Homework is snowballing at top speed. Parents teacher day around the corner spells doom- passed 2/5 papers. Bravo, bet teachers have lots to complain. From punctuality to test results to sleeping in class yeek I want to change school boohoo. Friendly matches with NY and CJ was nicely done! Winning was never in our cards in our previous years but yay! We are so improving :D April is like full of national competitions- netball and track- and top if off with GB Enrolment! All the running around should make me lose weight but how come I see that Im gaining instead!! Oh maybe cos I ve been sitting and doing productive work and that explains a bigger ass? Anyway there's econ casestudy not done and its due tomorrow but I think I'll have time to do that during NTU's talk.

With so many things at hand I really don't want to do deal with anymore other things.

2008-04-06T23:56:00.002+08:00

You can mould and shape me in Your image;
Breathe Your life You know I need it

All muddled up inside, it was almost impossible to chase away the woes and negativity within, especially when night falls. Because things happened so quickly within a short span of time it left me bewildered and helpless, weak and vulnerable altogether. I can't help myself if all these continue to haunt me to no end. Just when I thought that I have gotten over it, something triggers a memory and everything comes flooding back. Prayers are always on my mind, but it was never easy to execute this particular action and having faith in what I asked for from God- strength- was probably never the case but tonight felt different after reading the book of Colossians in tears.

And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light
Col 1:10-12

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.
Col 3:1-3

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men
Col 3:23

God makes mission impossible sounds easy.

2008-04-04T21:06:00.003+08:00

The rules remain a mystery

Weather been absurd for the past few days. The heat and sudden thunderstorm within the same day comes at the wrong timing. Timetable needs to have a revamp asap because Fridays are killerdays. School should cease all lessons after 5pm- the brain perpetually stops working. Getting back all the block test papers and almost screwing everything up yeek. Still feeling awful for disappointing Mrs Low :/ On a lighter note, Vantage Point yesterday was good. Everyone should catch it because I really do think it's a fine plot. The company cannot get any better because it was only you and I <3

HAPPY BELATED BDAY CONNIE :D

HAPPY BDAY JOANNA :D

2008-03-31T00:23:00.003+08:00

One year makes the difference

My wish is simple: go away monday blues.

2008-03-27T20:46:00.003+08:00

You mean well but you make this hard on me

Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long. No matter what I say or do, I'll still feel you here till the moment Im gone.
You hold me without touch. You keep me without chains. I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way Im supposed to be. But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause Im fragile. When I thought that I was strong. But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground. But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go. The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down.

2008-03-25T22:38:00.003+08:00

Hot as hell cold as ice sip it slow cause it's so nice

Today marks the end of Block Test 2. Im so relieved yet Im dreading normal school hours that would resume tomorrow. They should seriously consider a one week break. Like all play no study and forget about As. Think along those lines :)

History was bad because I didn't know how to answer 4/4 questions. So essentially that means failing but yknow, the joy of taking humanities is that there ain't fixed answers so all you need to get a good grade (pass at least) is the art of twisting your words and make the examiner believe you know your work. There's a fine line between that and uhm, lying? Okay that's an extreme and lets not touch on that.
I met MNG (not Mango you ignorant) today and he cleared all dark clouds hovering above :) Not forgetting Mel too but she had to leave early. Anyway both are really lovely people God has graciously blessed me with :) They gave me lots of insights which I thought was pretty helpful to understand human nature better. Hmm sounds complex aye. I love my MNG & Mellie <3

Hokay now that blocks are over I must take time to catch up on beauty sleep. Besides match with IJC tomorrow~! THRASH THRASH THRASH YAY!

Anyway I learnt that promises are meant to be broken so Im not expecting anything. Sheesh I must be lying.